If you ever wanted to read an exact guide to losing all credibility for a job opportunity that meant the most to you- you finally found one.
This blog post is a piece I began writing in all humility at around 6 am prior to an important life lesson that truly enlightened me and took my self-improvement to the next level. If you’re not reading this with an open mind, please get the fuck out of my page.
I hate to reveal personal stories to people that can’t learn from them. But if you’re still reading – you’re fucking awesome and/or love drama. Whatever it is, I don’t judge, so you’re still cool.
On to the story!
Being young, ambitious and with narcissist tendencies, I can proudly claim that I’m one of the most awesome people I know. Trust me, I know a lot of people. But in the same tone, I can also claim that when I fuck up, I make damn sure that I dig my own grave when I do.
The tale began when I offered John Romaniello and Neghar Fonooni a ride back to the airport after The PTDC (it’s a Fitness Business Seminar organized by Jon Goodman.)
During my stay at that seminar, I met a lot of amazing people that triggered some enlightening moments for me. My biggest wakeup-call slapped me in the face during the ride to the airport with John & Neghar.
To put you in context, Roman was one of the bigger influences in my life. I can say in complete honesty that as a teenager, he was the role model I looked up to back in 09’.
I absorbed every advice he gave like an empty sponge and puked my guts out by trying all of the workout programs he ever released (which was only FPFL, HBCB and some others back in the days)
Point being, I owe him a lot for the progress I made.
That being said, don’t get it twisted. After years of hard work, I can say that I became my own person and I’m now looking to expand as one. Becoming him is not in my plans, nor something I wish I’d do.
I always tell all my young apprentices to learn from the people they look up to, but they should never try to become them!
It comes down to the popular question: If you’d have a clone created, would you fuck or fight it?
For the record I’d do both; I’d start off with the best, hot, sweaty sex in the universe with the one person that knows me the best, myself (it’s not homo to fuck yourself), then engage in a grand battle of “only one Paul can exist” where swords are not optional.
Moving on, a day prior to the seminar, John posted on his Facebook a mentorship opening. Of course, I was kind-of interested learning from my younger-year’s role model. But before I could make the decision of applying, I needed to get to know him and see if he lived up to the greatness I associated him with.
I’ve met too many people in my life that were full of shit and I wouldn’t just throw my complete trust without analyzing the compatibility of my potential mentor.
To avoid turning this story into a dick-riding post, I’ll just say that his character and level of humbleness gained my complete admiration. My position transitioned from “kind-of-want” to “this is what I’ve needed my whole fucking life”.
This is where it got interesting.
When I really want something, I work for it beyond measures. Nothing will stop me from obtaining it.
I applied that philosophy for everything I ever desired and it worked.
The constant humiliation as a fat kid didn’t stop me from pushing and achieving the body I always wanted. Mother Nature didn’t stop me with -40 blizzards and icy roads from training for my cross-country competitions. The constant competition with older trainers for market domination didn’t stop me from creating a large training community based on my methods.
My personal success lies in the “beyond sweat and tears” dedication. I drive upon it and believe it’s the only way that I can make a bigger impact on my life and those around me.
That being said, you could only assume I kept my leader status with complete zen. Discussing the matters of becoming his padawan should have been a breeze.
Reality doesn’t work like that.
Man, I was freaking out from the inside-out. For the first time I felt like a little girl meeting Justin Bieber – except there was no screaming and had no need to go cry.
I was used to being the one praised; and that radical shift of roles left me completely confused.
It took me a while to adapt, but keeping my focus and usual control was a burden. My communication levels decreased to cavemen level and I only manage to bust-out my real side every now and then.
When I offered John and Neghar a ride, I assured them I knew where the airport was.
By me knowing its location, I meant that my iPhone has a GPS.
And when I say my iPhone has a GPS, I meant that I completely trust it.
Over-looking the aspect now, I’m laughing my ass of at my own idiocy.
You can NOT trust iOS6 maps. You just can’t and you shouldn’t.
However, after a couple of miles-in and disappointment by Roman since he’s not into D’Angelo (it’s okay, he’s forgiven) we turned out on the opposite sides of town – 30 minutes away from where we were supposed to be.
I’d like to describe his annoyance at that precise time, but it’s beyond my literal and word compressing skills.
Let’s just say he was really, really, reeeeeeally pissed.
Since Roman has a really alpha vibe, that energy will deliver his message with full transfer of every bit of negativity he throws at you. The impact of his shouting and tone elevation really hit me hard.
That’s when I finally kicked my own character back in gear.
He might be somebody I admire, but when a person’s giving me shit that I don’t believe I deserve, that’s where I get really pissed. Trust me it’s not funny when I put on my mean face.
John by now entered the new address in the GPS and continued giving me shit while arguing that he’s looking for an assistant that can pay close attention.
Going this far, I sensed I lost my opportunity for the job and lost all respect from him. All the imaginary barriers I placed upon myself during that weekend collapsed; and I’m not somebody that you can walk on.
I went full apeshit.
Now you have two dominant males in a bad mood – it was not the dandiest of sights.
After some random ranting and blasting each other, Roman calmed down, which made me calm down and Neghar stressed-out with a sudden urge to pee (totally not relevant, but I thought it was funny.)
Looking back now, he had the right to get pissed. He entrusted me with the transportation towards his flight, when time was limited. I fucked it up by not making sure I had everything prepared carefully – thus I was wrong.
But instead of admitting so, I summoned upon mistake #3: Not listening to those who really want to help you.
This part of the story left me completely impressed and marked a new passage in my life.
I witnessed John demonstrating complete humbleness. It was the first time I met someone with that kind of mind state at his success level. It blew me away.
I have sat down and have ate with CEO’s of huge companies, governmental identities and at one occasion, a billionaire. None of them ever showed signs of such a personal development and that marked me.
Roman was followed and praised by all the attendees during the weekend (stop faking you didn’t, guys) and if he would have been like any body else, it should have left his ego inflate beyond astronomical measures.
But it didn’t
He was the first to calm down and back off in an argument that he was right upon; and he understood I’m still young and have a lot to learn.
Acknowledging those facts showed he stepped off his ego and began teaching me some valuable lessons instead.
Of course at first I didn’t want to listen for shit. My bad mood and turn of events got me into a closed-minded thinking pattern that looked something like this: “You backed off an argument, I won. If I won, I don’t need to listen to your crap since I’m better than you.”
To another ego-centered person, that would have came across as piss-off annoying by showing I did not actually gave a shit. Instead, he insisted and delivered his point in a caring way. For me, it came across as a life lesson:
“If you live by your ego, you’ll never learn anything. Some people are smarter than you are. You’ll never progress if you don’t open your ears to them.”
Those weren’t his exact words. The speech itself was a bible long, but it was the essential of it.
Since I threw myself in a business, I lost touch with my real self and that was one of the numerous things the lesson shed light upon.
It hit me hard.
I felt like a complete dumb ass realizing that I wasted so much time thinking I was so close to being completely awesome. But in reality, I was actually further then when I started.
Recalling that life is not only about the value you have, but also about the value you can bring to others levelled my game up.
Looking back, if I acted on that mentality, everything would have been different. My emotions wouldn’t be rushing like a 14yr old girl and I wouldn’t make so many stupid mistakes. My connection with my potential mentor would have been more awesome since I would be focusing on making his experience in Toronto better; rather than just nagging him about my personal desires.
My eyes finally opened and my confusion lead me to open up to some real personal stories that he only used to give me more advice:
“Surround yourself with people who are better then you and are willing to help you at what you do. That will really facilitate reaching the next level.”
It was reality.
In less than an hour, I broke free from a personal-development plateau and discovered higher things to aim for. All thanks to opening my ears to somebody who exceeded in the domains I was aiming for.
Even tough that path he helped me discover is beyond clear; it did change my life.
The story continued with Roman also fucking up with the GPS and leading us in the wrong place again – hilarious irony.
After some massive speeding, I managed to get them in time to catch their flight. But that left me pushing my car a whole km to a gas station. Don’t ask.
Wicked story, now how do I apply that adice?
You are not perfect & amazing at everything you do.
I started a challenge that consisted of not talking about myself for the next 30 days. Truly, I believe it’s one of the easiest ways to learn how to let go of your ego.
The rules are as following:
-Learn as much as you can about somebody else and keep the subject related to him or her. As soon as it turns to you, turn it around again. Not only will you make people feel good since everybody loves to talk about themselves, but you will create a bigger connection and learn sides of people you never knew – that includes your close friends.
-Don’t try to be a mysterious asshole and answer questions honestly when somebody asks something about you. Just keep them short and sweet, then proceed to resume talking about them.
-If you’re into business, you should learn the needs of your clients. You shouldn’t bombard them with statements in hopes of them jacking off to your awesomeness. If they feel good, they will see your value.
The only excuse you can get away with talking about yourself is with blogging. Just because.
Ask yourself this:
Does your entourage contribute to the path you want to take? If not, why and how can you surround by those people?
I believe you should always cut off those who hold you back. A true friend will always push you were you really want to go with no back thoughts.
I’m fortunate to have my friends that support and continue sticking by me, even tough I can hardly dedicate 3-4hours a week to strengthen our bond. I’m also grateful for the people I met that lend me a hand to help me on getting where I want.
The internet turned the world into a small village – if you have nobody in your life that shares the same goals as you, I want you to go right now and make contact with those who made it where you want to be and do everything you can to get them to teach you how to get there.
Evolve or die. There are no excuses.