I Love Women
It’s not just a statement I put out there to make you aware about my heterosexuality, but I just love everything about them; their hair, gentle skin, cute little noses, unpredictable mood shifts, boobs, and junk, are all things that tickle me inside.
Especially their junk.
When treated right, women can be amazing companions, but on the same tone, they can do a lot of damage. Guys make no exception to this kind of behaviour; anyone who gets someone’s emotions involved in a relationship has the power to cause disaster.
Let me explain
First love is a beautiful thing: life is pink, sex is hardcore, and you get all cheesy thinking you’re complete. But when that relationship ends, you seriously get screwed up.
You suffer day-in and day-out, crying like you saw the notebook over and over again–or like you’re forced to listen Justin Bieber on replay for the end of your days—
You’re putting the blame of your pain on your partner, then you end up putting it on yourself. You become confused and lost. Some of your biggest mistakes probably happened during this phase.
You probably recall this scenario: “Please, please, I’ll do ANYTHING for you to stay. NO, I don’t care you cheated on me, or that you’ll do it again; I just want you in my life because I’m a needy, whiny, bitch– also, sex like yours is going to be impossible to find again. God, I’m such a loser, but please stay!”
Yeah, it does happen like that.
The long period of time struggling is what science calls “love withdrawal”– I’m impressed by the sciency name.
Oxytocin, Vasopressin, and Dopamine, the main drugs involved in our brain during love, are the creators of the thrill we experienced durin the ride; being such a huge dependence, once we cut them off, our brains are forced to re-wire.
It’s FUCKING painful.
Love withdrawal can be one of the biggest emotional pains one can suffer. Seriously, our brain interprets our love “event” as trauma; it learns to avoid it by incorporating certain copping factors that does more bad than good to our lives–genius.
That is logic at it’s purest form.
Some people cope by becoming emotionally distant, others start doubting the opposite sex in conversations–also known as trust issues–while others become sex toys.
“Woo, sounds like fun!”
It is to a certain extent; I’ve been there and I can tell you that living Drake’s lifestyle is really far-off from actually being happy; people believing that it is can seriously piss me off; it ruins our generation’s mindset.
Opposite sex and sextoys
When it came to man-female friendships, I was the biggest disbeliever out there.
Actually, I still hold on to that philosophy, but in different ways.
An heterosexual guy-girl friendship is not genuine; since one of them is bound to be attracted to the other, their interactions are aimed towards expected sexual relationships, making them bull shit their way into an un-desired state of mind.
Now, every woman having encountered me before can tell you how upfront I can be with my intentions. Some would be shocked by my statements, but I believe in being genuine and honest 100% of the time.
Women respect that.
My biggest mistake coming up as a teenager, on the other hand, came when I was faced with “rejections”; most of them were usually backed-up with a friendship counter-offer which I rejected all the time, obviously.
“It’s either we fuck or I’m out.” – my favorite line used back in the war against the friendzone days.
Reflecting on this, boy, did I miss-out on A LOT.
Chick-friends are really sensitive; they can really listen in ways guys can’t and understand more your emotional involvement in day to day life.
It feels good to be understood.
Unlike guys, they can surprise you with gifts and offer the best thing out there: hook you up with somebody worthwhile.
A chick is ALWAYS gonna be a better wingman than a guy.
Women are felines and hate competition; if they constantly hear you’re amazing in bed, they will want to try you out. A hot female wing-man can create that effect for you, thus you know you’re in business.
One thing tough, just take precautions; if you’re getting a lot of women and your wing-woman gets jealous, you’re really in for mayhem–not saying my women friends are constantly trying to have sex with me or anything.
“Paul, how the hell do you know all this woman friendship stuff now?”
Dude, it’s simple; just stop interrupting and keep on reading.
It took me a while to realize physical attraction is not the only factor that made things happen; the chemistry takes the bigger part of the puzzle. Any relationship lacking chemistry seriously blows ass.
Chemistry = smiling all the time, feeling cheesy, being open, and mind-blowing sex.
While some are aware of that statement, some still live with the lack of knowledge, resulting in a horrible relationship filled with misery.
Enter Leader’s Relationship Rule #1: Only date people that the chemistry is nuclear.
I live by that rule.
Turning down women usually came from that standard; of course having the beauty and intellectual capacity of a chimpanzee repulses me, but those two factors influences the chemistry itself.
“Paul, stop bullshiting; guys are pigs and would fuck anything that moves.”
What the fuck did I say about interrupting? Jeez.
You are right to a certain extent. How drunk and how horny we are does influence our sexual decisions during a night, but I’m talking about going on a date and passing more than 30 minutes with a person.
Living by that rule is my sure-fire way of not being bored to death on date, jumping in meaningful relationship, and avoiding suffering from being stuck with a person that would hold me back from my potential.
Also, ever since I developed standards, my dating life really boosted off.
I began doing a lot of things such as, dating women I enjoyed spending time with, being more real with myself, and finally be-friending the women that didn’t work out.
Women can smell when you’re happy with other women; it’s rare to see guys with standards. When women know they are not guaranteed to have sex with a guy, they’ll go wild; after all, they are used to having the final decision if they are going to have sex or not.
Don’t get it twisted with a dating tactic.
The benefits of having standards is what allows you to develop as a person, grow your business, and genuinely connect with other people. Women can smell bullshit, like knowing when you pretend you don’t want them, and will be turned off by your pussy-like behaviour.
The same goes for you women!
When you’re into a guy, anybody can read it off since you’re looking like a little 5yr old surrounded by candy all the time; you are not fooling anybody. If you’re fucking around playing games, you can get lost in your own and miss the opportunity of hooking-up with the perfect guy — hands-on-experience talking.
“But Paul, I can’t seem to keep somebody. I want that control and avoid being hurt 😦 “
That’s exactly why you’re being hurt; there’s only three things you have to do in order to be living the best relationship out there:
Have standards, BE REAL, and enjoy yourself.
Look, it doesn’t take a genius to know that, but it does take a lot of hard-work to get to know it’s true meaning.
As humans, we are social creatures; we are supposed to CONNECT. Having trust-issues translates into playing games and having meaningless sex with people, just for the sake of having sex, getting you everywhere but connectivity.
I remember coming out of my first love; a whole bunch of slow jams, ice cream, chocolate, and lots of empty conversations with everybody, was my every day living– Wussie Mcwyre had nothing on me when it came to being a softy.
Although, after a couple of hard working months of fixing my mood, getting in shape, and improving in EVERY area of my life: I was back in the field.
BUT IT SUCKED.
Due to the trauma from the breakup, I wasn’t emotionally available; empty sex was the only thing going around in my life at that time. The fact of avoiding discussion about my personal life made me mysterious, and for some reason, I could make women talk about themselves for hours–bishes love talking about themselves.
Even tough I was getting a lot of sex, I was miserable.
It was pointless; my partners kept getting attached while the only thing I experienced was a big black hole of emptiness. Seriously, my whole self-growth processe came to a never-ending circle of staying in place.
But this one thing happened.
After a sexy session, I seriously became bored and decided to dump a girl that really cared about me. Of course she was crying, pissed off, and all kind of sad-girly stuff, but she was also smart. She dropped one line revealing the whole truth about my persona of the moment:
“I’m not the problem, you’re the one afraid of opening up!”
She was right.
I never came to accept that being hurt was just a natural process and I had to put my fucking balls on the line.
Not exposing yourself, just for the fear of being hurt, makes you a coward. You don’t really love yourself, you’re holding yourself back.
Connections makes you grow!
Jahed is one of the newer guys that I made friends with(aww, friends!); he gained a lot of respect from my side because we share the same philosophy when it comes to life and relationships; funny enough, he summarized it with one sentence: do not give a fuck.
Before you get it twisted, the philosophy of not giving a shit is simple: don’t think twice about something, just do it. There’s time to reflect about the outcome afterwards; there’s no time to waste analyzing something that never happend.
Expose your naked soul, open your mind and body to your partner; share those childhood secrets and memories, talk about your insecurities; walk hand by hand on the street and risk being caught by your other partners.
Do NOT give a fuck.
It’s okay to get hurt, that’s the only way you’ll learn to find out what makes you happy. Becoming a truly confident person has to do a lot with being able to expose yourself to the world and be ready to take hits until you can really meet that right person.
“But Paul, love is just of bullshit and I’m not ready for all that responsibility.”
All right, then stop fucking playing games!
Lay your balls(boobs if you’re a girl) on the table then and admit you just want sex from the beginning.
God fucking damn, it can’t be that hard to understand!
Don’t give a fuck and open yourself up.
Don’t give a fuck and say what’s on your mind.
Don’t give a fuck and be your fucking self.
Your confidence comes from not giving a fuck; chances are you will also grow from doing more and thinking about it after you’ve done it.
“Do more without thinking; reflect deeply on the outcomes of what you did.”
That’s the real secret to happiness and having an amazing relationship, you won’t move further until you accept it.